alternative to USB port?

I connected an external DVD burner to my USB hub and used the wrong AC power supply and both USB ports have burnt out. Since then nothing I plug in via USB is recognised.

Supposing it is really dead, and any replacement is too expensive to be worthwhile this 2009 macbook (unibody A1342),

is there any way to connect a usb port to the Ethernet port, or MiniDisplay Port?

Sorry for the Noob-style question